DVD Video - Reviews [Jason and the Argonauts (2000)]
ORIGINAL FULL DVD REVIEW
Jason And The Argonauts (2000)
Release Date: 8/15/00
Studio: Artisan
Year: 2000
Run Time: 179 minutes
Rating: Not Rated
Starring: Dennis Hopper, Frank Langella, Jason London, Natasha Henstridge, Angus MacFadyen, Derek Jacobi
Directed by: Nick Willing
Movie Summary: [Sci-Fi/Fantasy]
The complete made-for-television miniseries of the classic tale about a man in search of the legendary Golden Fleece. Inspired by the Greek myth, the story begins when the fearless explorer Jason returns to the kingdom of Thessaly to make his rightful claim to the throne, but the gods proclaim that he must first find the magical Golden Fleece. Consulting Hera, the Queen of gods, Jason recruits the Argonauts to crew his ship, and they embark on their eventful journey.
T
here was a time when I could lift and move anything. I could balance the most obtrusive things on my head and move them from point ‘A’ to point ‘B’ with my eyes blindfolded and hands tied behind my back. While it was quite a spectacle for onlookers, it was really just another day on the job for me. I did the tricks just to keep myself amused. I was on call 24/7 - no matter the need - I could do it. Everyone knew that and that’s why they called upon me. I was the local strong man ... for all the world. I was asked this a lot back in the day and sometimes now from time to time, but the most positive aspect of being semi-immortal has to be my ability to never suffer the horrible hangovers I’ve heard all standard model human beings complain of. I tried that chalky material, Tylenol, one time when a 420-year-old oak tree fell on my head - hated the stuff. I surely couldn’t see myself relying on such measures to relieve pain. But alas - my younger years of showboating in front of the common man are a thing of the past. The mortal portion of my physiology has caught up with me and in turn delivered a stern kick in the butt. Yes, I am no longer Hercules - the strongest man in the world. I am Hercules - DVD reviewer - with a bad back. Yeah, it’s really hurtin’ me.
Jason and the Argonauts, yes, hmm. Memories. The folks here at DCN called me in to take a peek at this disc because they figured I’d have a greater grasp on the accuracy of the story - oh yeah, they were really excited in getting me on the project. I recall the stimulated conversation, “Hey ol’ Herc - get in here!” “Yes, what can I do for you today, sir?” “Put down the broom - are you listening?” “Of course, sir!” “You know anything about this Jason guy and his Argonauts?” “Well certainly, sir, once upon a ti-“ “That’s great, real great. Here - get on it. We need this reviewed pronto. Oh and hey-“ “Yes?” “Do a good job or I’ll have you on bathroom and trash duty by the end of the week before you can lift the bumper of another car double-parked behind yours.” “Sorry sir. I didn’t know that was your car-“ “Get on it!” “Certainly!” And so here I am. I’ve got to clarify something right now about this rendition of Jason and the Argonauts. While liberties have been taken with the story elements here to achieve a heightened level of suspense and intrigue throughout the duration of the tale (I mean, honestly, we spent most of the time eating, sleeping and playing that game where you name types of boats for each letter of the alphabet), our true adventure remains sincerely intact here. Unfortunately, I felt as though our general personas came across a bit “Hollywood-ized”, but hey - what can we expect I guess. I would have liked if perhaps they could have cast the individual who played me differently as well. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the work of that bad guy from ‘X-Files’ that goes around shape-shifting at every sign of trouble - but really - I’m a much better looking man. And what was up with that measly loin-cloth that was the extent of my wardrobe? Seriously folks, we weren’t completely uncivilized. Just so you know, I had a nice polo-shirt I wore from time to time because I wasn’t the physical exhibitionist I’ve been portrayed to be. All in all, this movie, ported over from its television debut, is a pleasant family feature sure to have all the young bucks in the family pumping iron and drinking protein shakes at a very young age as they strive to look “just like that man on the TV who is much stronger than you, daddy!” If I were to file a complaint with this production, it would have to be with Jason London’s [Dazed and Confused] portrayal of my good buddy Jason (who has recently passed away some odd 2000 or so years ago). The Jason I knew demonstrated true characteristics of leadership that were so intense, he was successfully able to lead a bunch of grown men on one of the most dangerous historical exploits around the world - and most importantly, gain their trust. London’s representation of Jason had the intensity of a young man progressing through whole experience hoping to get back in time for the season opener of 90210 - but even then wasn’t bothering himself too much over it since he had the forethought to program his VCR. But this is a TV production (a generally good one at that) - so what are we to expect anyway (rhetorical question, thanks).
Now I’ve had my share of peeks at releases from Artisan recently (but I’d appreciate if you didn’t mention to my boss that I’ve been indefinitely borrowing large chunks of his collection - he’s suspecting the gardener) and if you’re asking me for my opinion - I’d comment that I believe that thus far they’re doing a fairly good job with the product they’ve been bringing to light. Notably, I noticed troubling video issues with the full screen presentation best described as a general dullness in the picture. Colors seemed washed-out and the elements of the picture a tad blurry. Seeing as though the DVD is RSDL, I would have expected to see a more solid picture without the indications that the compression was a detrimental factor in the transfer. Unfortunately, it seems as though it was. Arriving directly from the high-tech capabilities of broadcast television, our adventures are accompanied by an unremarkable Dolby 2.0 surround audio transfer of typical distinction. The real advantages here are that you’re receiving the audio from a digital source rather than having it piped into your home by unreliable cable company conventions with all the lovely added distortions that can occur.
Get on to the [limited] special features, I can hear you saying (I can’t really. I’m just writing that out to help verbally revitalize my omniscient immortal abilities which will in turn strengthen my waning confidence in recent years. I’m also seeing a psychologist who recommends I be increasingly honest with others.). There really isn’t much to discover here apart from a few additional items that may interest the ‘Hercules and friends’ enthusiasts around the globe. Cast and crew information is present here as well as a feature titled ‘Notable and Quotable’ which supplies feedback from various cast members regarding different aspects of the production. Most notable of these features from my encounter would be the 11 minute featurette that does its best to cover various facets of the film in a short period of time - from the special effects to the music, location and costumes in the form of behind-the-scenes footage and interview snippets. A valuable edition to the slim pickings here.
Jason and the Argonauts may not be a DVD packed with special features or super high-quality audio/video that demonstrates the capabilities of DVD, but the epic content of legendary mythological proportions may be enough to have people digging into their wallets. For the rest of you who find yourselves unfulfilled, I’d suggest that you send cash payments to the following address for a piece of material from the original loin-cloth that I paraded around in from time to time. Believe me, there’s nothing like the 2000-year-old stained garments of a true warrior like myself to really take you back to an ancient era.
